EMBOW 144 Annual Stipend Meeting
January 26, 2013
Sierra Gold Conference Room
Las Vegas, NV
In attendance: Dave I, Skip, Will, Doug, Kev, Lance, Mark, Dave II
12:00pm Pre-Meeting Banter
1. Mark, Lance and Kev arrive directly from the airport. Will, Dave I, Doug, Skip arrive minutes later from the Rio reeking of clove cigarettes and cheap Ukrainian transsexual prostitutes. We cool our heels while we wait for Dave II to arrive.
2. Skip distributes the stipends. Kev gets up to leave. Lance and Kev are bummed as they got checks and not cash. Skip points out that they asked for checks and no, EMBOW does not have an ATM.
3. Dave II shows up at 12:31pm and his pants appears to be coated with spray tan. We order drinks from Megan and Dave I orders meatless nachos and chicken sliders for everyone. Did we lose a war?
12:31pm Call to Odor
1. Dave II left his phone in the cab but gets it back.
2. Skip tells us to open up weight and contributions. Mark claims that Phil Michelson is his neighbor, but it turns out that it’s just that Phil’s plane parks in the regional airport close to Mark’s house.
1:40pm EMBOW – where are they now and who is gay?
1. Jim Kent – a January 2005 EMBOW casualty and heavy Facebook user, he has a hot hippy girlfriend wife and apparently is a heavy drug user. Leaving the EMBOW orb has clearly cost him.
2. Joey D’Anna – Still at Goldman Sachs. Considering a gig that would move him to Toronto. Likely gay or at least bisexual.
3. Scott Ryder – Has expanded in mass. Apparently eating too many foodstuffs.
12:45pm Discussion of Financials and Introduction of EMBLOG
1. Skip has created a new website and blog and it is pretty awesome. Kudos to Skip for doing this, updating our statements, doing our K1’s, solving the debt crisis, brokering middle east peace, etc.
2. Apple – stalling growth leads to go around the room analysis.
Mark: vigorous hold
Will: wait until it goes back to $650 then sell off a big chunk
Skip: exhausted from his extensive meeting prep and being out until 5:30am, Skip agrees with Will.
Dave I: the reality is that Apple is not meeting the market’s expectations for growth and it is being reflected in the price adjustments. We need to sell a chunk and find another good growth stock. There must be another one out there.
Kev: the story has changed, but it’s a value at the current price
Dave II: let’s wait until we have a new Tony Romo until we have another qb to take his place. Time to draft a new qb.
Doug: Apple was growing by coming up with products that no one thought they needed. Rumors of a new product will likely eventually disappoint.
Lance: Agrees that we need to sell off some. We should decide on what the price should be.
MOTION: (Skip and Kev combine minds to make brilliance) Sell $200k or Google, buy $200,000 of Apple
3. Everyone believes that Google is overvalued. 5-yes, 1-opposed (Dave II), 2-recused
4. Mark, although making a shitload now by orchestrating class action lawsuits against our companies, is still not contributing. Fercockt! (Yiddish for “all fucked up”). Get off your ass, dude!
5. Doug is nominated as EMBOW president for 2013 – unanimously approved.
6. $50,000 of Inventsense purchased Monday morning on margin. Doug said a lot of smart stuff that I didn’t get down but if anyone can fill in this part that would be great.
Humbly submitted,
Kev